the life & times...

i miss you. i dont know how it got so bad but are we both to blame ? i think.. i mean i think i tried a few times and you did too but somewhere along the line we were both discouraged to try again ? i mean i know i was pretty discouraged a few times. but im just still hoping things can be somewhat like normal. our friendship was fun. a little random but it was real. to be honest i just want to know that youre still in my life. this past saturday really surprised me. i was looking forward to getting that picture of us but you didnt let it happen. all good though; theres still next year hopefully. just take care of yourself okay ? i see weird posts and worry but you always deny my accusations so i never ask. im sorry i disappointed myself and you. love you. always.

i feel so so so so stressed ): but why ?! last midterm week i was fine and a lot more things were going on that should have stressed me out. sighh. im too weak for this T.T

you have no idea..
i shouldnt be by now. but i still am. i havent forgotten the last times and theyll probably stay with me forever, hindering every step i make to move past it. but i cant look back because all it will do is prevent me from growing, right ? but what can i do ? its still there. all of it is still there. taunting me as if they know im not good enough and that i dont deserve this. it makes me sad knowing how scary and unsure everything is.

i know youre not officially part of the family yet, but weve considered you a part of this family a long way before this day. but this day has made it official; or at least it will be official. im excited because i know how much you make my sister happy. i know because as i walked up to her i hugged her super tightly and said congratulations. she asked me if i liked you. and all i did was start tearing up and say yeah, youre really good; really good with everyone in the family too. and she just started to cry and knod her head. i hugged her again, kissed her head, and told her that the wedding is going to be so, so pretty. i am just so happy she is happy. i love her so much and i can tell that you love her too. things will start to change soon once you guys get married and im scared ill lose the sister ive gotten so close to. but you guys are going to start your lives together so ill understand. just take care of each other because youre family now.